Thus ends my political tirade of 2008. I thought I kept it pretty well under control

—–

I’m worried that one day I’ll wake up

And everything will be the same

As it was the day before

Wait– didn’t they make that into a movie? Well, there goes my allotted amount of poignancy for the week.

Better words tomorrow

“People believe in the institution of marriage [...] People have stood up because they care about marriage and they care a great deal.” Frank Schubert, co-manager of Yes on 8

I believe in the institution of marriage. I stood up because I care. But I think Frank and I mean different things.

On election night, I didn’t believe Obama would win. Maybe it’s because I learned not to hope after 2004. But I did believe in California. For some reason, I was sure the state would knock out a resounding no on Prop 8, the same way they do every year for abortion restrictions. I never thought that California would return to the limitations of heterosexual union. But the numbers kept rolling in. And when I woke up this morning, there it was: an ugly check right next to the YES.

It feels like defeat to say “Next time.”

Better words tomorrow.

CHANGE is not just what rattles in my jacket

so nervous i could puke

tomorrow evening cannot come soon enough

from 12 to 20 i grew up knowing a leader who i did not trust

who did not represent me

or protect me

eight years is too long to be in a relationship with a man you don’t even like

that is what my therapist would tell me.

What Is Doing

⎯    I don’t want to die alone.
⎯    Sorry, I’ve already made plans for the evening.  Can’t back out, you know. Bad form, bad form.
⎯    Oh. I understand. I can find someone else, I guess.  Still, I was sort of envisioning you there.
⎯    Well, I can’t be there, don’t you see?  Maybe if you had asked me before I made plans.  Don’t you know I have I very busy schedule?  You mustn’t wait ‘til the last minute like that.  Acting like you’re the only one with a life.  Putting me in such a position.  Selfish, selfish.
⎯    It’s fine.  I’ll work something out.  Enjoy your evening out, then.
⎯    Right oh.  See you tomorrow.
⎯    You shan’t.  That’s the point, didn’t you hear?
⎯    (door shuts)

History is not made or changed by singular events of importance, but rather by the events that follow and respond to them. This is what makes an affair remembered and relevant and viewed– the subliminal conjunction of action and reaction.